Two states by Chetan Bhagat is a good entertainer. I am fan of this investment banker turned writer or vice versa; as he puts it he may not be the best writer, but certainly one f the loved writers now. I thoroughly enjoyed five point someone years ago, but one night at call center had put me down. And didn’t bother 3 mistakes of life, and people told me I have not missed much. Well, two states is a work that made me laugh and got me to the state of not putting the book down until I finished it. It is such a simple concept and elegant comedy where you can switch off your brains, sit, read and enjoy. No one needs a dictionary or help as there is not a single English word which is not used in common life. And there are a lot of resemblances (characters, plots, and happenings) which could be related to campus; which is hardly remembered otherwise. Sometimes you do go for those great literary works and you say ‘oh wow what a language, amazing’. But then, I doubt if they would get you to the state of ‘go on’ until you finish the book. I have been trying to read ‘Ignorance’ by Milan Kundera for the past two months. I open and read a couple of pages and I am not getting through. It may be that I get pulled for something else, or I doze off, or I am too tired to concentrate or my lovely Tak snatches the book and runs off! (I may crack it sometime, for example in a train/flight journey when there is no Tak or no connectivity)
Two states got me ‘sit and read’, may be it is just that I don’t get a chance to read much these days in my busy juggling between Tak, work and home apart from those quick glances at daily news, metros and regional highlights; may be just a bit more on some interesting news. But then yesterday was one of the first Sundays in ages when our social calendar was free and I could curl up to my sofa in my night dress until evening when I was forced to take a bath (of course woke up late and I try to train Tak to do so in weekends like this!). And while Tak was helping (!!!) his dad and granddad to do gardening and some DIY stuff at garage I got my space and got on with the book. I took breaks for lunch and snacks, but then Tak did interrupt several times ‘Amma NANA book NANA’. He hates to see his mom doing anything apart from ‘being’ with him when she is at home; and his routine enemies are phone, books, TV, laptop, kitchen and bathroom if his mum is involved! He makes most of me when I am at home, and I hide from him in my study area if I have to work from home. And yesterday, I gave Tak extra bonus to sleep on my lap as long as he wanted as I was comfy with two states in my couch. Of course, I enjoyed both parts!
There are certain things which make you think as well. Yes, life partners can be chosen by you as well as your folks could help out. When you choose it is your circumstances or the opportunities you had got gets you there just like how Krish met Ananya at IITM, same like how Krish had lost someone at IIT. Well, it is a gamble. I was talking to my Mr on this and asked would he be happy if Tak comes with someone of a different community/background. And what we came to a conclusion is that we could only get them in a position to think right, help them develop their personalities and choose the right. Of course, right is what you think right; your folks and circumstances mould you to get there. I am of the kind where I do have strong opinions about people, communities and cultures. You cannot stereotype here I know, but unfortunately in my experience I have met people from different parts of the world and have observed same goods and bads with geographical similarities (Again here, it may be what I define good and bad). Yes, the feeling of Indian is obviously the first (it increases if you live out of India I guess), but then for very personal stuff you still get biased with your regional stuff – South Indian/North Indian. For all, Madrasis seem long way for a Malayali!
It is not that I would be acting like Krish’s mom to Tak if he gets involved in something like that, but then it is different on how you would want things to happen. For all, Tak would not even believe in the concept of marriage (yup, they are the generation next after all). Or I would be shocked to get introduced to my son’s wife – haha! But I hope my son would have the trust and ability to let his parents know his feelings and his decisions - let it be anything friends, girls, future!
Monday, 20 June 2011
Tuesday, 14 June 2011
“What do you do?”
Somebody asked me today – “What do you do?” I looked at him with a smile actually thinking how to answer this question. Mr. X repeated “What do you do for living?”
Now there I go “I am a Consultant, IT Consultant”
Mr. X, “Oh so you do computers, ahaa”
Me, “Well, I do but then not everything”
Mr. X, “Do you fix them?”
Me, “No, I don’t. I am not hardware, I am with software”
Mr. X, “Right, so you do program stuff”
Me,” Well, I can… or I have done in the past. But now I don’t. I manage software projects”
Mr. X “Ahaa, so now you tell people to do it!”
Me with a laugh, “I tell people how to do it, and why should they do it, and why business wants them to do it!”
Mr. X, “So that means you tell others to do it and you make others work”
Me, “haa, sometimes…or rather most of the times these days”
Mr. X, “Good, I have no idea of what they do. I just know to email and browse”
Me, “That’s all about it. It is just that those people (and me) help you to do that!”
Sometimes I start off to a random question of ‘what do you do’ answering ‘I am a project manager’. But then people dig down to what, where, how, on what etc. Sometimes I say ‘I am an engineer’. Most of the times with that answer people don’t bother to ask you more.
Now there I go “I am a Consultant, IT Consultant”
Mr. X, “Oh so you do computers, ahaa”
Me, “Well, I do but then not everything”
Mr. X, “Do you fix them?”
Me, “No, I don’t. I am not hardware, I am with software”
Mr. X, “Right, so you do program stuff”
Me,” Well, I can… or I have done in the past. But now I don’t. I manage software projects”
Mr. X “Ahaa, so now you tell people to do it!”
Me with a laugh, “I tell people how to do it, and why should they do it, and why business wants them to do it!”
Mr. X, “So that means you tell others to do it and you make others work”
Me, “haa, sometimes…or rather most of the times these days”
Mr. X, “Good, I have no idea of what they do. I just know to email and browse”
Me, “That’s all about it. It is just that those people (and me) help you to do that!”
Sometimes I start off to a random question of ‘what do you do’ answering ‘I am a project manager’. But then people dig down to what, where, how, on what etc. Sometimes I say ‘I am an engineer’. Most of the times with that answer people don’t bother to ask you more.
Wednesday, 8 June 2011
Lie for no reason
Why should someone lie for no reason? I wonder why this trend takes place. I have come across a number of folks (family, friends, colleagues, acquaintances) who gets into it. The silliest class is of ones who just merely put a lie even if you don’t ask them for that, and I feel just so annoyed about it. And that just develops into a habit for some of them and they just simply make a clown of themselves. Those lies get easily caught on the spot or a little later; and sometimes just a one off occurrence of lie becomes a lifetime question mark on ones credibility. At least I wouldn’t trust them any longer.
There is a slight difference here where you don’t present an angry face to people you don’t like. In my opinion that cannot be classified as a lie; simply because you just can’t show a fuming face or in fact an uninterested face most of the times to people you dislike or don’t want to be with. You are part of a society and there are many settings which you would not want to break. For example, you can’t do that with your colleagues. Just because you don’t like them you can’t stop talking to them and show an angry face. It upsets the professional settings at work. Likewise everywhere there is a setting to be kept. But it is a different case if you always tag along someone and say ‘I love you/ you are my best friend/ love being with you etc’ when you hate that person. I am sure the concept of inner and outer relationships are maintained by a good majority and so do I. I have been accused earlier during my college days that I maintained too much of outer relationships where I smiled and talked to people I was not very happy with. But then that was simply because I didn’t want to upset the settings and be anti-social ‘I will not talk to you/I hate you/ enemy looks’ state and that is childish. May be at that point I was too scared to do that thinking about the consequences; and I am sure at least a good part of the smiles received and/or returned where of the same type.
Well, life has progressed much further than college days and my personality and people handling skills has progressed too. Guess there is still a degree of inner outer thingy that hangs around, but the outer types has lessened to a great extent predominantly because you tend to see and be with people who love and want to be with and there will be no more room for outer shows. But lies for no reason is different from this context
You ask somebody “where have you been last night?” It is ok if they tell you ‘I was out’, but if they tell you ‘I was at home cooking’ and you had seen this person pub crawling
You ask somebody “are you coming home with me?” It is ok if they tell you ‘sorry I have other plans’, but if they tell you ‘ I am going for house chores’ and you know that this person has already made plans to hang out with X
You ask someone “when are you off on holidays?” it is ok if they tell you ‘may be later this year’, but if they tell you ‘not decided I may not go at all’ when you clearly know that they have booked their tickets
You ask someone “where are you?” it is ok if they tell you ‘I am out going somewhere’, but if they tell you ‘I am going home, I am not going to X’s home’ when you can see them saying this to you from X’s home
You ask someone “which is the best school for kids here?” it is ok if they tell you ‘I don’t know, or search this place etc’, but if they tell you ‘ this place’ and you find out this is an awful school and this person is not sending his/her child there because of the very same reason
You ask someone “what are you going to do after your course?” it is ok if they tell you ‘ I will think of jobs’ but if they tell you ‘ I don’t know I may take a break or study further’ when you clearly know that this person has accepted a job offer
You ask Mr.X “did you do 123?” it is ok if Mr and Mrs puts it ‘not so great, slightly, tried etc’, but what if Mr X says ‘we have been trying 123 for many times, failed, now prepraring for next trial, doing lots for that’ and Mrs X says ‘oh no don’t prefer 123 so never bothered trying, and wouldn’t want 123’
These are some of the very basic day to day examples. But then WHY? Why do you do that? Is it going to make any difference if you let reality flow from you to the world? The only difference that I could think of is the credibility of the person where others would see him/her only from a swindler pedestal. This in turn would be a suspicious feel on the individual and lessens the chances of one being a taker of their true stories.
The next category of behaviour is where one doesn’t hand out any clear message which is not as appalling as deceiving. Someone who is always ‘I am thinking’, ‘I am not decided yet’, ‘I don’t know’, ‘when time comes’ and the likes. But here there may be some genuine cases where the person himself/herself would be a thinker – always! But the other lot will easily be picked up from doing (purposeful) deceiving thinking for example when you pass out different information to different folks, or you become so habitual in this sort of thinking thoughts. What I have experienced is most of the people who lie for no reason get caught one way or the other. And I have seen the embarrassment they collect in their pot if the catch is in public and the difficulty for them to pursue further; and the smarter here hunts for more lies. Some of them are lucky that they will not be skinned in public, but they wouldn’t make out the real picture where others consider and act when it comes to them. Their reputation just goes way down their thoughts and their true versions tend to be perceived as frauds.
There is a slight difference here where you don’t present an angry face to people you don’t like. In my opinion that cannot be classified as a lie; simply because you just can’t show a fuming face or in fact an uninterested face most of the times to people you dislike or don’t want to be with. You are part of a society and there are many settings which you would not want to break. For example, you can’t do that with your colleagues. Just because you don’t like them you can’t stop talking to them and show an angry face. It upsets the professional settings at work. Likewise everywhere there is a setting to be kept. But it is a different case if you always tag along someone and say ‘I love you/ you are my best friend/ love being with you etc’ when you hate that person. I am sure the concept of inner and outer relationships are maintained by a good majority and so do I. I have been accused earlier during my college days that I maintained too much of outer relationships where I smiled and talked to people I was not very happy with. But then that was simply because I didn’t want to upset the settings and be anti-social ‘I will not talk to you/I hate you/ enemy looks’ state and that is childish. May be at that point I was too scared to do that thinking about the consequences; and I am sure at least a good part of the smiles received and/or returned where of the same type.
Well, life has progressed much further than college days and my personality and people handling skills has progressed too. Guess there is still a degree of inner outer thingy that hangs around, but the outer types has lessened to a great extent predominantly because you tend to see and be with people who love and want to be with and there will be no more room for outer shows. But lies for no reason is different from this context
You ask somebody “where have you been last night?” It is ok if they tell you ‘I was out’, but if they tell you ‘I was at home cooking’ and you had seen this person pub crawling
You ask somebody “are you coming home with me?” It is ok if they tell you ‘sorry I have other plans’, but if they tell you ‘ I am going for house chores’ and you know that this person has already made plans to hang out with X
You ask someone “when are you off on holidays?” it is ok if they tell you ‘may be later this year’, but if they tell you ‘not decided I may not go at all’ when you clearly know that they have booked their tickets
You ask someone “where are you?” it is ok if they tell you ‘I am out going somewhere’, but if they tell you ‘I am going home, I am not going to X’s home’ when you can see them saying this to you from X’s home
You ask someone “which is the best school for kids here?” it is ok if they tell you ‘I don’t know, or search this place etc’, but if they tell you ‘ this place’ and you find out this is an awful school and this person is not sending his/her child there because of the very same reason
You ask someone “what are you going to do after your course?” it is ok if they tell you ‘ I will think of jobs’ but if they tell you ‘ I don’t know I may take a break or study further’ when you clearly know that this person has accepted a job offer
You ask Mr.X “did you do 123?” it is ok if Mr and Mrs puts it ‘not so great, slightly, tried etc’, but what if Mr X says ‘we have been trying 123 for many times, failed, now prepraring for next trial, doing lots for that’ and Mrs X says ‘oh no don’t prefer 123 so never bothered trying, and wouldn’t want 123’
These are some of the very basic day to day examples. But then WHY? Why do you do that? Is it going to make any difference if you let reality flow from you to the world? The only difference that I could think of is the credibility of the person where others would see him/her only from a swindler pedestal. This in turn would be a suspicious feel on the individual and lessens the chances of one being a taker of their true stories.
The next category of behaviour is where one doesn’t hand out any clear message which is not as appalling as deceiving. Someone who is always ‘I am thinking’, ‘I am not decided yet’, ‘I don’t know’, ‘when time comes’ and the likes. But here there may be some genuine cases where the person himself/herself would be a thinker – always! But the other lot will easily be picked up from doing (purposeful) deceiving thinking for example when you pass out different information to different folks, or you become so habitual in this sort of thinking thoughts. What I have experienced is most of the people who lie for no reason get caught one way or the other. And I have seen the embarrassment they collect in their pot if the catch is in public and the difficulty for them to pursue further; and the smarter here hunts for more lies. Some of them are lucky that they will not be skinned in public, but they wouldn’t make out the real picture where others consider and act when it comes to them. Their reputation just goes way down their thoughts and their true versions tend to be perceived as frauds.
Thursday, 2 June 2011
Home sweet Home - RETURN
Six years anon leaving homeland I still believe home is where your pedigree is. Being a home owner in a foreign country still doesn’t lend a hand to think that’s your ‘home’. Speak about home and there is this all genus of stuff about where you have come from begins pouring down. I had many foreign colleagues and friends visiting my home land having taken the inspiration from me; may be it is the passion that you have which could impress folks. The home emotions bind in closely with dad and mum which is all the same package for me. In fact some of my colleagues who did a jaunt to Trivandrum met up with my parents and brought me back all those good stories about the place, how much they enjoyed the sandy beaches and greens, how excited they were on the cheap shopping options, those precious antique material and of course the dosas and currys. I also loved to hear about my sweet and caring parents, giggly mom and beautiful home. And then I start terribly missing home and my loved ones there.
The first home you make is obviously something special for you, particularly since you have taken a big step in investment and you have splurged a lot of time, money and effort to customise it to your flavours. In fact here I have the Jills signs for life ‘Home sweet home; where your journey begins’ hanged in front of my entering corridor. Well, the trail in this piece started five years ago and we switched eight rental residences in five years time and lived in many different counties; and the alleyway extended from England to Scotland. And now we take a break near North Sea and bought our first home ‘Kilikoodu’ (yes, I do have the same board hanged in front of my house in Malayalam!). And we anticipate this is the big step and the best step we have taken before we return ‘home’. The decision to move to this top corner was taken after a lot of thinking, analysis and best practice examples.
But then ever since we moved in and in the due course of enjoying our own home we keep reaching the stage to start thinking of an exit plan in the next two to three year period. I am alleged for being so goal oriented that when one gets ticked off the list I robotically get moved on to the next challenge. It is the confidence of my other half in getting things done and the assurance in my potential (which I need to be reminded of occasionally) that helps me going.
The last six years boulevard was eventful and exciting which transformed the way I have cultured to look at things and moulded me as a better person and professional. Places and people around had a significant influence and effect in this course of action. And yes, I am still changing, improving, learning and adapting. I had the opportunity to travel around some different countries, sense the differences, know the customs, stories and myths, various tastes and this has added on to even better comprehend how different and unique everyone is and you can be proud of what you are - “I am enough and more to look at me”
I switched jobs number of times due to various reasons; in fact I toggled my professions and industries from a programmer to organisational strategist to a project manger to an IT consultant; from private sector to public sector, from country to country, onshore to offshore, utilities to health to energy domains...and the expedition still continues. Met a lot of people from various backgrounds, made friends in different parts of the world, became a part of many traditions and festivals…and I absolutely loved and learned all the way through. This has helped me shape myself more malleable, flexible and blending. But then the best part of the learning exercise is how great your belongings are and there is no way you are inferior. There were days previously in my career when I used to be not so comfortable bringing Indian lunch to an open plan office environment on the view that it could be smelly and people would ‘look’ at you. But then I realised in a little while that it is not as bad the ‘tuna’ and ‘sardine’ salads or bakes of the place; and how much fellow colleagues fancy your madras, jalfrezis and the tikka masalas. Oh yes, that adds to you – 95% of foreigners whom I have met extremely adores Indian food; and a good take of them love my cooking. How could someone not like those dosas, bajis and currys. On the contrary, I have come across a lot of Indians who says I prefer something other than core Indian. May be it is the grass on the other side is greener. It is like those Keralites who cannot bear rice and goes for ‘North Indian’. It is the same sort of thing with Keralites who cannot understand or speak Malayalam just because they were born and brought up outside Kerala (wherever it is). To my personal belief, that is cleanly parenting problems where if a parent doesn’t bother to give all those goodies they have had to the next generation or due to ignorance on those goodies. Whereas there are many UK born and bred Asian second and third generation folks fine and well-versed at their native languages (well, languages in their ethnic origins). In fact there are GCSE’s in Punjabi which many of my friends here have picked up for during their edification. Somehow there is a cross section of Keralite community who assumes their native languages are mediocre. It is a shame on how ignorance plays its part there and how they fail to realise how beautiful our language is
These are just so wandering feelings and I need not bother as I don’t have many readers. It is the urge to write sometimes which you would want to re-visit at a later date which gets me to put this together. Blog is a better weapon than those scattered files in your laptop and scribbled pages in your notepad. Having been employed in UK by an Indian parent company is the best paradigm to prove the rate of growth in India. Soon after I accepted an offer for a Consultant position with an American company there was this amalgamation with Indian company (which bought it over!). Though I was suspicious in the beginning I was proud about the merger very soon (obviously terms and conditions and of course my package stays the same!). So, this may be the first stride before RETURN.
It is not that I have a repugnance or antipathy towards UK. No, UK is one of the worthy places I have been. I have built up my career here, met exemplary people, made many warm friends, numerous good stories and lovely moments to cherish through lifetime and many more. And yes, I started my life with my man here which makes this place so special for me. I have done many experiments during the passage; of course with pleasant and unpleasant outcomes – but have never given up. The most we enjoy around here is the work life balance and the time for family. But I think the best part of our UK dynamism would be more of people than places. May be I should start writing about those people – acquaintances, friends, best models, annoying types and the not to follow types.
And yes, it is all about RETURN now – where my home is, where my family is, where I want Tak to see and get all those goodies we had, and where I want to live and love the most, and maybe I want Tak to do the same as we do now. But that would be too much to ask for; I would not stop him flying around where he wants once he is up and ready for that. Some job calls SreeRaj gets for work says ‘Are you ready to relocate for this from your family?’ and the answer is always ‘Of course, my family is in India and I am not there now; and hence fully flexible’. I think myself and Tak are just himself for him and the rest is family! So, RETURN - When and How! I need to put my analysis and PM hat for that as I have got process engineering and risk management resource in-house.
The first home you make is obviously something special for you, particularly since you have taken a big step in investment and you have splurged a lot of time, money and effort to customise it to your flavours. In fact here I have the Jills signs for life ‘Home sweet home; where your journey begins’ hanged in front of my entering corridor. Well, the trail in this piece started five years ago and we switched eight rental residences in five years time and lived in many different counties; and the alleyway extended from England to Scotland. And now we take a break near North Sea and bought our first home ‘Kilikoodu’ (yes, I do have the same board hanged in front of my house in Malayalam!). And we anticipate this is the big step and the best step we have taken before we return ‘home’. The decision to move to this top corner was taken after a lot of thinking, analysis and best practice examples.
But then ever since we moved in and in the due course of enjoying our own home we keep reaching the stage to start thinking of an exit plan in the next two to three year period. I am alleged for being so goal oriented that when one gets ticked off the list I robotically get moved on to the next challenge. It is the confidence of my other half in getting things done and the assurance in my potential (which I need to be reminded of occasionally) that helps me going.
The last six years boulevard was eventful and exciting which transformed the way I have cultured to look at things and moulded me as a better person and professional. Places and people around had a significant influence and effect in this course of action. And yes, I am still changing, improving, learning and adapting. I had the opportunity to travel around some different countries, sense the differences, know the customs, stories and myths, various tastes and this has added on to even better comprehend how different and unique everyone is and you can be proud of what you are - “I am enough and more to look at me”
I switched jobs number of times due to various reasons; in fact I toggled my professions and industries from a programmer to organisational strategist to a project manger to an IT consultant; from private sector to public sector, from country to country, onshore to offshore, utilities to health to energy domains...and the expedition still continues. Met a lot of people from various backgrounds, made friends in different parts of the world, became a part of many traditions and festivals…and I absolutely loved and learned all the way through. This has helped me shape myself more malleable, flexible and blending. But then the best part of the learning exercise is how great your belongings are and there is no way you are inferior. There were days previously in my career when I used to be not so comfortable bringing Indian lunch to an open plan office environment on the view that it could be smelly and people would ‘look’ at you. But then I realised in a little while that it is not as bad the ‘tuna’ and ‘sardine’ salads or bakes of the place; and how much fellow colleagues fancy your madras, jalfrezis and the tikka masalas. Oh yes, that adds to you – 95% of foreigners whom I have met extremely adores Indian food; and a good take of them love my cooking. How could someone not like those dosas, bajis and currys. On the contrary, I have come across a lot of Indians who says I prefer something other than core Indian. May be it is the grass on the other side is greener. It is like those Keralites who cannot bear rice and goes for ‘North Indian’. It is the same sort of thing with Keralites who cannot understand or speak Malayalam just because they were born and brought up outside Kerala (wherever it is). To my personal belief, that is cleanly parenting problems where if a parent doesn’t bother to give all those goodies they have had to the next generation or due to ignorance on those goodies. Whereas there are many UK born and bred Asian second and third generation folks fine and well-versed at their native languages (well, languages in their ethnic origins). In fact there are GCSE’s in Punjabi which many of my friends here have picked up for during their edification. Somehow there is a cross section of Keralite community who assumes their native languages are mediocre. It is a shame on how ignorance plays its part there and how they fail to realise how beautiful our language is
These are just so wandering feelings and I need not bother as I don’t have many readers. It is the urge to write sometimes which you would want to re-visit at a later date which gets me to put this together. Blog is a better weapon than those scattered files in your laptop and scribbled pages in your notepad. Having been employed in UK by an Indian parent company is the best paradigm to prove the rate of growth in India. Soon after I accepted an offer for a Consultant position with an American company there was this amalgamation with Indian company (which bought it over!). Though I was suspicious in the beginning I was proud about the merger very soon (obviously terms and conditions and of course my package stays the same!). So, this may be the first stride before RETURN.
It is not that I have a repugnance or antipathy towards UK. No, UK is one of the worthy places I have been. I have built up my career here, met exemplary people, made many warm friends, numerous good stories and lovely moments to cherish through lifetime and many more. And yes, I started my life with my man here which makes this place so special for me. I have done many experiments during the passage; of course with pleasant and unpleasant outcomes – but have never given up. The most we enjoy around here is the work life balance and the time for family. But I think the best part of our UK dynamism would be more of people than places. May be I should start writing about those people – acquaintances, friends, best models, annoying types and the not to follow types.
And yes, it is all about RETURN now – where my home is, where my family is, where I want Tak to see and get all those goodies we had, and where I want to live and love the most, and maybe I want Tak to do the same as we do now. But that would be too much to ask for; I would not stop him flying around where he wants once he is up and ready for that. Some job calls SreeRaj gets for work says ‘Are you ready to relocate for this from your family?’ and the answer is always ‘Of course, my family is in India and I am not there now; and hence fully flexible’. I think myself and Tak are just himself for him and the rest is family! So, RETURN - When and How! I need to put my analysis and PM hat for that as I have got process engineering and risk management resource in-house.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)