It has been busy, busy and busy over the past few days.
Transition to new job role is working fine, Tier 2 application with extension of visa successful, Santa coming to us in different forms and much more. The year end is keeping us in high spirits till now.
Another one on those Bray Leino trainings – Influencing Skills!!! It is absolutely a great skill to develop (or further develop) in professional as well as personal life. The one which I attended was quite generic; still there were many things which were food for thought. For example what is a fair mix of extrovert and introvert types? The trainer listed down many characteristics for each of them. Certainly introverts and extroverts have their own favourable and unfavourable factors. One among them was Extroverts are ‘annoying’ and Introverts are ‘boring’. Not necessarily always, it depends on contexts/situations they are in. So a fair mix of both should be considered while dealing with people.
You are on managing a meeting or delivering a presentation; and you get a room full of extroverts. The audience are on a race to talk, talk and talk sometimes to prove their point; or to rebut someone else’s. And some techies in the audience try to question the presenter to prove him/her and the audience that ‘I know more than what you know’. There are presenters who take it in a very constructive way, but often I have seen people getting annoyed with that (I have had to deliver only very few technical presentations in my life, and they were when I started my career as a software engineer). Rest of the presentations in my life were more or less on management side. However, no one expects anyone to know everything about what they present – you could very well be frank and say ‘I am not sure about that, can I confirm and get back to you!’. Also getting an audience full of introverts is not very exciting. You need a good degree of challenge to keep you going anywhere.
One of the key points on influencing people, group of people or an organisation is that can you predict or later determine the degree to which you did the influencing? That was a perfect question as I have never given it a thought. Influencing skills in my professional life has had direct results as well as indirect ones. But then, determination of the degree of it isn’t easy. May be it can be measured relatively. For that, you need someone else or a group of people to do the same which isn’t the case often with work environments.
Another interesting section of the training was that the trainer asked everyone to identify a person who has influenced them in their lives. It was a very open question that it could have been anyone in personal life or professional life. It is not a matter of thought for me as I have the clear cut answer for the person who has influenced me the most in my life – that is my father. The group had a wide variety of answers which ranged from ‘my grandson’ to ‘Mahatma Gandhi’. Mahatma Gandhi was identified by many in the room as one with great influencing skills; and I was the single Asian in the group. It added on to my pride being an Indian.
For me, most of the times I realise when I am getting influenced by people. It can be their power, character, efficacy, skills and the likes which have an effect on me. On the lighter side, I have been a victim of these many times. Anywhere any time,
- when I was in school I was influenced my by teacher,
- at home I was the best influenced by my parents which is my pride
- when I grew up though I don’t like to accept I was influenced by a good mix of people – say friends, my crush-list ones, even celebrities and many more
- when I found my MAN in life I am heavily influenced by that person
- In professional life you have many models in front of you who you accept and like to follow; also proud to say they influenced you.
And I am confident on my influence on certain people who I think should be influenced by me. But, can certainly have further development in the area.
Thursday, 18 December 2008
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
Braggadocios!!!
Having been living for one third of an average human life-cycle I have developed certain strong likes and dislikes! I think I am going to indite on my dislikes now and this doesn’t necessarily mean or one should speculate that I am a negative person. I am NOT. Well, can’t really say I am the most optimistic too. But, I am sure my optimism levels have improved especially over the last couple of years and I can see I am reaching there to the most optimistic levels.
Now, it is about certain dislikes or aversions I am getting stuck to in a very hard way. The main one on this is on Braggadocio – the word is new to me. But it is all about boasting and the big talks. I just cannot stand it these days and get awfully annoyed by braggarts. It is a perfect abhorrence for me. I have realised that I have started reacting to those of this kind – whether it is genuine or fake. Being a sort of person who is relatively slower in reacting to repugnance and with a relatively higher reaction time I am sure if I am experiencing expeditious reactions with such occasions it is just not me. In simple terms boasting can be of in any form, in all walks of life, anywhere and anything for one to do
For example,
Some people desperately try hard to prove who they are and how good they are. Good on what? Anything! Usual ones being on their brains, academics, jobs, speaking skills, artistic talents, and what not! Even on their swearing skills!!!– If one is good, do they really have to try hard to prove? On a personal perspective I feel if someone is trying to boast on somethingt – true or fake; it is simply because they have an inferiority complex on it, or they just doubt if they are accepted in that way – that is simply lack of confidence.
Some others try to boast on their social set up – Who I am? Where am I from? Who is who? And who are my people – friends, family, colleagues, even their Exs. I pity these types. It is very much true that you should be proud of who you are and on your whereabouts. But it is an absolute ridicule when they go around and exercise hard to prove that.
Another type is on the asset which is now on the material aspects. What have I got? Acres of land, Unlimited account balance, Lamborghini, luxury homes and what not? People here even try hard to prove how great they are by saying their post codes just because it shows how posh the place of your living is! How strange!!!
There are even worse ones – emphasis on how good you look! These types are quite funny because it is one of the eye-front evidence. People can see how good you look – lol! Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and so this one is totally different. There is no point in boasting on this because people feel and think different. And people who find you good looking will keep finding it no matter you keep saying it or not. If they don’t, you can’t just change it too.
Some of the typical statements that I have come across which would like to highlight are
- you know how much I earn? … (are they ready to share it?)
- you know my project will not work/run without me… that is a FOOL (who doesn’t realise the things around...Ha-ha)
- you know I am a …(caste/origin) and my family is …(come on…who cares these days?)
- you know I own a multimillion ….(house/car/holiday home/ lan/jewellery…can be any strange thing in this world)…(so….?)
- you know I have been to ….(places) all these places…lovely holidays…(is that a recommendation to visit those places?)
- you know my friends are all ….(who’s who)…(why should I bother?)
- you know I am a great …(singer, dancer, painter, player …flirt…and what not) and won several prizes…(really???...haha)
- you know I have been educated in …(best schools in Universe)…(Ooooo…somehow it doesn’t show!)
This list is just unbounded. I am not saying mentioning about your holidays or your family is just gasconading. I am sure any human being would have been through situations like this and will be smart enough to figure out what I am trying to express here. It is just how you put it and something on the lines of attitude.
I am not trying to say I am the Ms Perfect and Ms Ideal out here. I must have also done my bits of boasting in life which might have well annoyed people. But since when I realised this is something which can really put people OFF I have not done any deliberate efforts to become a braggart! I am sure I will watch myself as far as I can on. If you can’t just take it yourself, how can others?
Now, it is about certain dislikes or aversions I am getting stuck to in a very hard way. The main one on this is on Braggadocio – the word is new to me. But it is all about boasting and the big talks. I just cannot stand it these days and get awfully annoyed by braggarts. It is a perfect abhorrence for me. I have realised that I have started reacting to those of this kind – whether it is genuine or fake. Being a sort of person who is relatively slower in reacting to repugnance and with a relatively higher reaction time I am sure if I am experiencing expeditious reactions with such occasions it is just not me. In simple terms boasting can be of in any form, in all walks of life, anywhere and anything for one to do
For example,
Some people desperately try hard to prove who they are and how good they are. Good on what? Anything! Usual ones being on their brains, academics, jobs, speaking skills, artistic talents, and what not! Even on their swearing skills!!!– If one is good, do they really have to try hard to prove? On a personal perspective I feel if someone is trying to boast on somethingt – true or fake; it is simply because they have an inferiority complex on it, or they just doubt if they are accepted in that way – that is simply lack of confidence.
Some others try to boast on their social set up – Who I am? Where am I from? Who is who? And who are my people – friends, family, colleagues, even their Exs. I pity these types. It is very much true that you should be proud of who you are and on your whereabouts. But it is an absolute ridicule when they go around and exercise hard to prove that.
Another type is on the asset which is now on the material aspects. What have I got? Acres of land, Unlimited account balance, Lamborghini, luxury homes and what not? People here even try hard to prove how great they are by saying their post codes just because it shows how posh the place of your living is! How strange!!!
There are even worse ones – emphasis on how good you look! These types are quite funny because it is one of the eye-front evidence. People can see how good you look – lol! Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and so this one is totally different. There is no point in boasting on this because people feel and think different. And people who find you good looking will keep finding it no matter you keep saying it or not. If they don’t, you can’t just change it too.
Some of the typical statements that I have come across which would like to highlight are
- you know how much I earn? … (are they ready to share it?)
- you know my project will not work/run without me… that is a FOOL (who doesn’t realise the things around...Ha-ha)
- you know I am a …(caste/origin) and my family is …(come on…who cares these days?)
- you know I own a multimillion ….(house/car/holiday home/ lan/jewellery…can be any strange thing in this world)…(so….?)
- you know I have been to ….(places) all these places…lovely holidays…(is that a recommendation to visit those places?)
- you know my friends are all ….(who’s who)…(why should I bother?)
- you know I am a great …(singer, dancer, painter, player …flirt…and what not) and won several prizes…(really???...haha)
- you know I have been educated in …(best schools in Universe)…(Ooooo…somehow it doesn’t show!)
This list is just unbounded. I am not saying mentioning about your holidays or your family is just gasconading. I am sure any human being would have been through situations like this and will be smart enough to figure out what I am trying to express here. It is just how you put it and something on the lines of attitude.
I am not trying to say I am the Ms Perfect and Ms Ideal out here. I must have also done my bits of boasting in life which might have well annoyed people. But since when I realised this is something which can really put people OFF I have not done any deliberate efforts to become a braggart! I am sure I will watch myself as far as I can on. If you can’t just take it yourself, how can others?
Monday, 1 December 2008
Unadulterated Carnage – Where is it going?
Wednesday night when I was catching up on some of the old Koffee with Karan episodes in Youtube, there was a loud wail from SreeRaj – ‘Look at this – Its in Bombay’. It was on the terrorist attacks in TV – the massacre! And Ommy God – it was unbelievable on the first sight. Bullet Sprays! Grenades! Hostages! And what not – Unadulterated Carnage. We watched the live telecast in Sky news for hours and it was heart breaking.
Next day morning in train I got the metro and there was this huge media hype – inferences and interpretations – One of them said the gunmen were typically focusing the Britons/Americans and asking for their passports for verification! And one of the victims told a fellow victim to say he was an Italian if asked – What difference does it make to the gun points? Did they really target foreigners? Then, they could have manipulated something of the same in a foreign country! When you see the plight of innocent inhabitants in the city from here what more can you do rather than worry on the same. I had checked and made sure my friend who has recently settled in Mumbai and her folks are fine. Thank God – though the incident happened near her Bro’s office they were all luckily saved. And she was mentioning that it was a nightmare and everyone is scared to get out of home even now. The recent forecast says 119 dead!!! And rest of the recent news came upon on the Google search, in fact the initial search results are ‘Mumbai Terror Attacks Hit India Tourism at Start of Peak Season’ and ‘Cricket's future in Asia in jeopardy due to terrorist attacks’. Media covers more on the business aspects and in a bigger picture. Now, how long does it take for the city and its inhabitants to come back to normal life? (Typed up until this on 28th, Friday)
The whole milieu around us creates the effect of the Mumbai devastation - an aura of disasters and nightmares. You get to hear about the incident from everywhere – you call back home, friends on phone, e-mails and even someone new you meet in an Asian shop. My colleague was talking about it this morning. Yesterday when we stopped at Spice Lanka for some South-Indian food stuff, we happened to meet a guy who works with the Cleveland Police – and he was saying that he is totally disturbed with the Mumbai attacks and is sticking to VandeMatharam. We realised the effect is not just there – its all over the world! No matter if you are a Mumbai resident or not! However, the death toll has gone up to 200. Thank God, things are almost settled now and it is repairs time now there for people and place.
Mumbai is one of the places which I have always fancied (for a visit/holiday; somehow not to live). I am definitely going to stop over there on my next visit to India – probably April/August. Seems like a long wait for that though.
Well, here is the start of another week. Ooooo….December!!! And 2008 is going to see its end! Should have to think and analyse my year 2008. May be in another piece of writing by the end of this year. Start of December doesn’t seem very favourable for me. My train was delayed for 25 minutes in the morning. It was snowing in the morning and it was absolutely freezing. As the train was late I got into another train; unfortunately it was one of those cross country ones and I didn’t think much. As I purchase advance tickets from Transpennine the Cross Country Company didn’t accept my ticket. The conductor was quite rude and made me buy another one for which my young person’s discount was not accounted. This was when the train was jam packed; he could have easily accepted (I had a ticket though – I wasn’t travelling for free). However, adding on my frustration in the morning the guy who sat next quite annoyed me with his attitude. This is the last thing you want to happen on a snowy Monday morning.
Next day morning in train I got the metro and there was this huge media hype – inferences and interpretations – One of them said the gunmen were typically focusing the Britons/Americans and asking for their passports for verification! And one of the victims told a fellow victim to say he was an Italian if asked – What difference does it make to the gun points? Did they really target foreigners? Then, they could have manipulated something of the same in a foreign country! When you see the plight of innocent inhabitants in the city from here what more can you do rather than worry on the same. I had checked and made sure my friend who has recently settled in Mumbai and her folks are fine. Thank God – though the incident happened near her Bro’s office they were all luckily saved. And she was mentioning that it was a nightmare and everyone is scared to get out of home even now. The recent forecast says 119 dead!!! And rest of the recent news came upon on the Google search, in fact the initial search results are ‘Mumbai Terror Attacks Hit India Tourism at Start of Peak Season’ and ‘Cricket's future in Asia in jeopardy due to terrorist attacks’. Media covers more on the business aspects and in a bigger picture. Now, how long does it take for the city and its inhabitants to come back to normal life? (Typed up until this on 28th, Friday)
The whole milieu around us creates the effect of the Mumbai devastation - an aura of disasters and nightmares. You get to hear about the incident from everywhere – you call back home, friends on phone, e-mails and even someone new you meet in an Asian shop. My colleague was talking about it this morning. Yesterday when we stopped at Spice Lanka for some South-Indian food stuff, we happened to meet a guy who works with the Cleveland Police – and he was saying that he is totally disturbed with the Mumbai attacks and is sticking to VandeMatharam. We realised the effect is not just there – its all over the world! No matter if you are a Mumbai resident or not! However, the death toll has gone up to 200. Thank God, things are almost settled now and it is repairs time now there for people and place.
Mumbai is one of the places which I have always fancied (for a visit/holiday; somehow not to live). I am definitely going to stop over there on my next visit to India – probably April/August. Seems like a long wait for that though.
Well, here is the start of another week. Ooooo….December!!! And 2008 is going to see its end! Should have to think and analyse my year 2008. May be in another piece of writing by the end of this year. Start of December doesn’t seem very favourable for me. My train was delayed for 25 minutes in the morning. It was snowing in the morning and it was absolutely freezing. As the train was late I got into another train; unfortunately it was one of those cross country ones and I didn’t think much. As I purchase advance tickets from Transpennine the Cross Country Company didn’t accept my ticket. The conductor was quite rude and made me buy another one for which my young person’s discount was not accounted. This was when the train was jam packed; he could have easily accepted (I had a ticket though – I wasn’t travelling for free). However, adding on my frustration in the morning the guy who sat next quite annoyed me with his attitude. This is the last thing you want to happen on a snowy Monday morning.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)