Having been living for one third of an average human life-cycle I have developed certain strong likes and dislikes! I think I am going to indite on my dislikes now and this doesn’t necessarily mean or one should speculate that I am a negative person. I am NOT. Well, can’t really say I am the most optimistic too. But, I am sure my optimism levels have improved especially over the last couple of years and I can see I am reaching there to the most optimistic levels.
Now, it is about certain dislikes or aversions I am getting stuck to in a very hard way. The main one on this is on Braggadocio – the word is new to me. But it is all about boasting and the big talks. I just cannot stand it these days and get awfully annoyed by braggarts. It is a perfect abhorrence for me. I have realised that I have started reacting to those of this kind – whether it is genuine or fake. Being a sort of person who is relatively slower in reacting to repugnance and with a relatively higher reaction time I am sure if I am experiencing expeditious reactions with such occasions it is just not me. In simple terms boasting can be of in any form, in all walks of life, anywhere and anything for one to do
For example,
Some people desperately try hard to prove who they are and how good they are. Good on what? Anything! Usual ones being on their brains, academics, jobs, speaking skills, artistic talents, and what not! Even on their swearing skills!!!– If one is good, do they really have to try hard to prove? On a personal perspective I feel if someone is trying to boast on somethingt – true or fake; it is simply because they have an inferiority complex on it, or they just doubt if they are accepted in that way – that is simply lack of confidence.
Some others try to boast on their social set up – Who I am? Where am I from? Who is who? And who are my people – friends, family, colleagues, even their Exs. I pity these types. It is very much true that you should be proud of who you are and on your whereabouts. But it is an absolute ridicule when they go around and exercise hard to prove that.
Another type is on the asset which is now on the material aspects. What have I got? Acres of land, Unlimited account balance, Lamborghini, luxury homes and what not? People here even try hard to prove how great they are by saying their post codes just because it shows how posh the place of your living is! How strange!!!
There are even worse ones – emphasis on how good you look! These types are quite funny because it is one of the eye-front evidence. People can see how good you look – lol! Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder and so this one is totally different. There is no point in boasting on this because people feel and think different. And people who find you good looking will keep finding it no matter you keep saying it or not. If they don’t, you can’t just change it too.
Some of the typical statements that I have come across which would like to highlight are
- you know how much I earn? … (are they ready to share it?)
- you know my project will not work/run without me… that is a FOOL (who doesn’t realise the things around...Ha-ha)
- you know I am a …(caste/origin) and my family is …(come on…who cares these days?)
- you know I own a multimillion ….(house/car/holiday home/ lan/jewellery…can be any strange thing in this world)…(so….?)
- you know I have been to ….(places) all these places…lovely holidays…(is that a recommendation to visit those places?)
- you know my friends are all ….(who’s who)…(why should I bother?)
- you know I am a great …(singer, dancer, painter, player …flirt…and what not) and won several prizes…(really???...haha)
- you know I have been educated in …(best schools in Universe)…(Ooooo…somehow it doesn’t show!)
This list is just unbounded. I am not saying mentioning about your holidays or your family is just gasconading. I am sure any human being would have been through situations like this and will be smart enough to figure out what I am trying to express here. It is just how you put it and something on the lines of attitude.
I am not trying to say I am the Ms Perfect and Ms Ideal out here. I must have also done my bits of boasting in life which might have well annoyed people. But since when I realised this is something which can really put people OFF I have not done any deliberate efforts to become a braggart! I am sure I will watch myself as far as I can on. If you can’t just take it yourself, how can others?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
5 comments:
at some point of time or other........
we may say similar things......
"you know I ...... "
if you closely observe them,read between the lines; you MAY find some interesting facts about such people. At times I felt it's good in a way for them. At least they are +ve.
The one's you shoud keep AWAY is those who say "you/i are nothing .... we r not going 2 change anything"
thats more dangerous....
what do you say?
Well, I agree to an extent. It may be good in all ways for them in their big talks. I was talking about the receiver end and most of the times I have felt it puts people OFF.
Being positive is very much different to boasting. If one says ‘I am nothing...or wouldn’t change’ that clearly isn’t great, not positive at all. Too much modesty doesn’t work too these days. And it is always great to be proud of what you are.
I was saying about a completely different thing. Not sure if you have really come across those situations. Then you would have definitely got to know what I was saying.
You started with "can’t really say I am the most optimistic........."
Then in b/w the lines are going like this
"you know my project will not work/run without me… that is a FOOL "
May be you can improve your optimistic thinking. When I said about people who spread -ve impacts, these people are better. The moment you think they are fool, you and another person who hears it has no difference. For me, this line of thinking will end up only in gossipping about them in absense of such characters.
Instead you may find it interesting to observe what they actually trying to convey. It may be something they achieved with great effort or something they think that most important to them. This kind of a change in attitude can give you better "SOFT SKILLS" and you end up in enjoing the conversation.
Next time you feel that some1 s boasting things, ask them about "the value in life" (s)he created. For example, "you know my project will not work/run without me" . ask back; what VALUE (s)he added to make him/her a keystone.
I mean, hearing and listening are different. If hearing is boring, try listening.
Hi Lekshmi,
I feel what you mentioned in the last paragraph about realising what one does, is important here. If one realises, then one can act to curtail the urge to boast, i.e.if he/she wants to. And, like any other habit, it takes time and consistent effort to overcome it.
Giri,
I think again you got me wrong. Gossiping is completely different to when one refer to someone who boasts all the time. Though braggarts become the victims everywhere who are looked at and talked about in a ‘funny’ way among people, if not gossiping!
The Fool mentioned out here, I don’t necessarily think it has something to do with my optimistic thinking. What I was saying is for example, a person who works for a corporate believes that the organisation or the project will not run without him again I think the person should be wise enough to look around and see the bigger picture. Because none of the corporate relies on just one person’s brain or effort! If not him/her, the next one will come. May be they would the person was great if he/she was.Yeah I agree the person is not a fool, if it his/her own project. Then, will not run without him.
Again there is nothing very complicated out here. To an extent you can listen (or hear!!!) big talks. But when it reaches a point where things get very funny it isn’t as easy as you think and I am sure I will not ask them about the keystone thingy at that point (simply because it can be very embarrassing when you get that question when you are boasting ..ha-ha). For example, you are in a party and what if one person in the group just doesn’t stop with gasconading. Same happens in one to one conversations also. In this busy world you cannot really listen or invest your time very much on these unless you are that interested in it genuinely.
On Soft skills…I agree listening is one of the best skills to have. And I think I can be a good listener if I want to. But soft skills give equal in fact more guidance for orators too, to keep make the crowd listen! It doesn’t support the big talks thingy…Boasting is not a very good way of proving how optimistic you are! There are much better ways Man!
Pradeesh,
I very much agree to what you say. It does take a long time to overcome it especially if you have the tendency towards that. And I believe it is better to do that to have ‘good’ people around...in fact to have a better way of life too!
Post a Comment